My cold end- feeling of nothing- Wake up, It's a dream!

Messing around, like an idiot… I find my self in a lake of melancholy..
Still… dirty… spread like a virous.
I can’t help it..
Almost dead
I can’t breath
I can’t see
I don’t feel… a thing!! Except for the cold water all over me…
It captures every feeling of mine… I can’t think!!
I don’t want to…
I just leave my self…. I abandoned me. No regret.
Just for now… to reconsider some things.
I take my time…
I see myself from another point of view… like I stopped being me..
Like I am someone else…
I don’t recognize me..
I ‘m just watching me moving under the water.. almost drowned , but never thought to commit a try to live again…
I surrender to the feeling of nothing…
I feel no more…
I became a viewer of my end…
So peaceful…
So innocent …
So cold….
A peaceful moment…

I realize I have no time…
If I don’t do sth in a second I will loose every single chance that I will ever have in my life….
I am so scared
Like I suddenly realized the reality!!!
Like I just woke up from my worst nightmare…!
I quickly grab my self and pull me out of this cold lake…
I shake me, I talk to me, trying to wake me up…
I finally made it… I’m waiting for a reaction…
I just breath in… breath out…
I feel so lost…
But alive…!

-I’m ok… just leave me be.