i feel as if something is missing

 it is a part of me

i feel as if something is missing 

a part of me

as i find it difficult to accept 

to connect 

taking distance

denying neglecting 

a part of me

when I'm not doing the thing i love 

for whatever the reason 

money society beliefs rules 

human association 

it is a part of me

i am ready to accept in

within 

to integrate 

 

*

there is a desire

a hungry mouth 

it sometimes looks like something, it summons a form, and then another

it is always the same

the feeling that something is missing 

 

and it creates a pull inside

this inner hunger

 

it seeks outwards

for the missing part

 

due to some distorted vision 

clear the inner vision 

it is all within 

it is already there

 

nothing is missing 

it is all there

where it should be

 

you just thought you are this little body 

but you are 

something more

all creation 

you are things inside and outside 

there is no separation 

you have everything

 

and you are everything 

 

you want to be met, 

to be acknowledged, to be confirmed

that you already know

we are one

 

we are love

you are love

 

now it looks like separation 

it is always love

and care 

we care

just now, we have to act like this

we need to perform some exercise 

to remind ourselves

even through pain, the pain of separation, that separation is not real 

there is more than that what you see 

there is more and it is always there

see the big picture

feel 

identify 

who are you?

what is your true identity ?

 

tell me now!

remember 

who you are. 

and do some gardening, 

its good for you. 

 

 

you think you are alone. 

sitting there in your room

people, that are supposed to be parents, care takers, 

friends, care givers

care sharers, are somewhere far away 

where is the real care? 

it is the light within 

your own heart, 

your own breath 

the earth that is carrying you and your things

you dont need to carry anymore, she is carrying everything

she is caring for every little or big creature that is on her, it is part of her

we are all part of her

 

my dear nature

you are always here for me, and 

how silly i am to forget you 

 

I want my friends to remember this 

remember 

we are all taken care of

noone is ever alone 

there is always some One 

you just need to see

to remember how to see

look at the sun 

he is nourishing you 

feel its rays feeding your irises and warming a beautiful fire 

look at the moon 

she is always there to give you dreams, inspiration 

playfulness 

look at the stars, so many!

and beautiful they are!

how can you be alone, 

you must be mad!

i know its just a human feeling 

a mistaken perception 

but you need to do this little step 

to see this 

to become one with creation

it is so little compared to what she has done for you!

everything!

you just need to remember

whenever you are out of bliss, 

you committed the same mistake again. 

There is only one mistake one can do. 

To mis identify with something less than creation. 

 

offcourse the mind will say, it loves to do so 

that's what it is for

to strengthen this connection

to make it more stable

to go deeper

into this inquiry 

who am I 

whenever you fall out of bliss 

remind yourself

and leave others alone

if they dont ask so

they can do their work 

they have the same gift as you have 

and they have their own work to do 

and how poor i am 

I keep forgetting 

till I become one 

I still feel that. 

as if something is missing. 

It is my relation to other human beings. 

that has been severed 

long time, ages ago. 

aeons maybe 

when we started to relate like that?

when we stopped to relate like genuine creatures? 

with integrity, honesty and from the heart? 

our very upbringing sacrifices every bit of that

we have to bury it away, until we find safe spaces

to express what is real. 

to sing 

from the heart

without being afraid, to be judged. 

to show genuinely what we truly love and adore without being called too much of this, too  much of that. 

without being ashamed

for the things we hold dear in our heart. 

All are okay. 

it is an illusion 

nothing is missing 

there are no others

none to relate 

all are here 

in the bliss of love 

vibrating as one 

I know what it is

I fall down, into the same mistake

and I 

pull myself out 

and then I cry 

I dissociate

I tell to myself

oh no 

I'm alone now

Although I did it to myself 

I distanced me by myself. 

and then I sit and watch 

who will come to me

it is what they call

the control theater of the distant one

you come out and see 

who will come to me

none 

oh no 

poor me. 

and then again 

maybe I should go out 

and then again and again 

the old habit of the mind. 

I got you 

how silly 

I trick myself to this misery 

how I did this to myself

I must have seen it somewhere

and now I feel bad

for having tricked  and dragged others into this too

I feel guilty for having done this to others too 

to pull them there with me

although I needed to see

that they will come 

to see me 

even like this

and she 

will come

because she sees beyond this silly little games of the mind

she sees the essence 

and then I am not small anymore

I am 

Now I need to see 

with my own eyes

I cannot play anymore like this

Time is precious     

 

now that I know

yes

or I can still fall back into the same mistake and think 

oh no!

Once you see, you cannot unsee

 

And why I delay so much this union? 

Always looking for new experiences

places to be 

"opportunities" "offers" "classes" "things or people" 

dance therapy session - another distraction or a chance for collective joy?

 yes! lets go there, 

there you will find what you miss!

and you know it is not there

because it is nowhere

it is a mirage 

it is already inside you 

and you are projecting around you as if something is missing!

its a lie!

 making you think, there is a place where you can find This !

that is already inside you, and it is never missing, 

or else you wouldn't be able to see, or be!

 

Why am I delaying this

when I know 

the river can never go back!

 

making a lot of noise just before it disappears forever