How to remember God in a god-less civilization, or a “civilization” that’s trying to forget — my personal journey
How to remember God in a god-less civilization, or a “civilization” that’s trying to forget — my personal journey
Indulging in forgetfulness
With all kind of means like intoxication, numbness, through meat eating, and reducing empathy and compassion, engaging in illicit activities and relationships that mess up with your consciousness, gambling, promoting a false self image, and full of distractions through fabricating false needs and social media, and all kind of demands, to please the never pleasing senses.
Sincere souls are struggling through this world of distractions, to remember their true identity, and have sincere nurturing relationships, looking for means of self expression, therapy, healing, and true peace and growth that will come only when there is a connection with the spirit within and the genuine sources without.
That come through scriptures, received in the heart of the wise beings, timeless teachings, a living theology, that can be tested and applied through each individual personally, a spiritual science.
Written in the language of the Gods — Devanāgarī,- Sanskrit, more than 5000 years ago Bhagavad Gita, “the song of God”, gives answers to every problem a human may face, and provides the knowledge one needs to know to make an informed decision, and guess what. God believes and respects your free will. Krishna respects your boundaries and will never force you to follow him, He only needs your love and love cannot be forced. He believes in consent.
Thus I have explained to you knowledge still more confidential. Deliberate on this fully, and then do what you wish to do. Bg 18.63
Before I met the devotees, I was engaged in all kind of activities, always seeking for something deeper, and always feeling a vacuum. Always something was missing. I thought I need to be more creative, or I need to meet the right person, or to follow the right carrier path, or try another spiritual practice, or yoga, or try another community, or ashram. I tried so many different things. Including living in sustainable communities, or alternative communities, like the burning man community, and different ways of expression, like voice and movement improvisation, art, free writing, higher education, everything this material world has to offer, almost everything. But still something was missing.
A moment of remembrance
In November 2021 something magical happened. Tired of just working, to survive, having taken 3–4 part time jobs simultaneously, working hard to top up my bank account, I felt there has to be something more, than just work work work. Anyhow I have been looking for this something more since I was very young, but I just hadn’t found it yet. But I knew it was there.
So I went to a temple. I woke up early morning, before 6. I went out on my bike in the dark, it was raining, the gate was locked, there was a phone number at the door and so I called. One very young temple priest came to let me in. I attended the morning ceremony and then I was offered some sanctified vegetarian food, tea and some kind words. That felt nice and then he had to go to his classes and I had to go on. It was not the Hare Krishna temple because I thought I have tried this already and it doesn’t work. Let me try something different.
It was nice though, and then I thought I would just anyway go and visit the Hare Krishna temple once more, as it was just around the corner.
The moment I went in and saw the altar, my heart melted in crying and I felt at home, and was wondering where have You been all this time. I didn’t have any idea who exactly was on the altar, I knew it was Krishna and all that I have been looking for, was revealed in my heart and surely I was finally at home. I couldn’t stop going to the temple to have their darshan, everyday for hours, soon I engaged in service, and few months later I even moved into the temple.
Here we come to Today
Since then lots of things happened, I have been practicing full time as a brahmacharini, as how a female monk is called. It is now a bit more than 2.5 years, the longest that I have committed to any practice and I have not thought even one time that something is missing, or have any curiosity anymore like I used to try different things all the time, as this path in itself it is very complete, and one can only go deeper, and deeper. In service, love and education, as it has very deep scriptures and knowledge.
oṁ pūrṇam adaḥ pūrṇam idaṁ
pūrṇāt pūrṇam udacyate
pūrṇasya pūrṇam ādāya
pūrṇam evāvaśiṣyate
“The Personality of Godhead is perfect and complete, and because He is completely perfect, all emanations from Him, such as this phenomenal world, are perfectly equipped as complete wholes. Whatever is produced of the Complete Whole is also complete in itself. Because He is the Complete Whole, even though so many complete units emanate from Him, He remains the complete balance.”
In the meantime some things that haven’t change, it is that I have had to move a few times, within the devotee community in different ashrams and temples, as each temple has different mood and service, some are in the city or the countryside, and there is plenty of diversity. It is part of my karma I guess, a repeating pattern throughout this lifetime(it’s even in my astrology), that I again need to seek for a community and home, but this time within the devotee community itself. And best is to seek somewhere deeper, what is that makes me move. What is the actual home I am seeking this time?
I came to India around 5,5 months ago, to see the Holy places for first time, although second time in India, now it feels completely different.
Now as my visa ends it’s almost time to go, and while I am reflecting and seeking where should I go? Where can I do some service? Should I get back to work, or continue in the ashram? What do I really need and what did I learn after these 2,5 years of practice and living in the ashram?
For sure I am richer in knowledge, and stability, and tolerance, also in sensitivity, for sure, more work needs to be done, because very often I fail, in exactly, that tolerance and sensitivity, but getting better, at least an noticing. Consciously Unconscious. (References to HH S.B. Keshava Swami and his wonderful lectures)
So now, while I am reflecting on who I was before meeting the devotees, and what I could do and used to do, I started looking at the old things. I looked through the Academia and the PhD proposals, or should I again become a facilitator for voice and movement improvisation, or go into art, and different jobs, the different activities I used to engage and this thought came to my mind.
How to remember God in a god-less civilization, or a “civilization” that’s trying to forget
Everything available right now seems that is just made in a way to forget God and our true connection and purpose of the soul which is to serve. All the PhD positions, the workshops, the professions, all this material world is seemingly made in a way, giving us the false promise that we are here just to enjoy, but it is simply not possible. As everything here is temporary, and everything will eventually pass.
How can we talk about pleasure, and success, and art, and nature, and everything that is here, without remembering God? Since it is all His energy.
How can we just ignore Him and enjoy separately? Only because He allows us to forget. And it is very painful.
I am seated in everyone’s heart, and from Me come remembrance, knowledge and forgetfulness. By all the Vedas, I am to be known. Indeed, I am the compiler of Vedānta, and I am the knower of the Vedas. Bg15.15
It is just too easy to forget, if we don’t have the right association, if we don’t develop love in our heart, and true discrimination, through scriptures.
Just by following our own imperfect senses and thinking, speculative process, it can really takes us away from our heart, and get lost in some alternative reality. Then we can just as well, engage in sense gratification, forget our principles, engage in intoxication, meat eating, taking advantage of other beings, just for our senses.
I am not repeating myself. This nature is repeating in cycles. Samsara.
There is only one way to cut through this forest of illusion, with the sword of knowledge, or the boat of the scriptures, to cross the ocean of ignorance. With the mercy of the spiritual master.
So what can one do on a practical level?
Listen, read from the right sources. Reflect, doubt, question, experiment, find out! Join a course or a community. Sing, dance and eat sanctified food.
So while still looking at those PhD proposals, and my previous extensive CV that has been coming from a goddess civilization or a civilization that is trying to forget God and enjoy separately like a thief, I am wondering, could I somehow incorporate this knowledge and understanding within spirituality?
I really need to look into that. Because everything else really seems pointless and misguided. Like a spiritual suicide.
This human life is our chance for going back home. And one really needs to fight to stay awake while everything is preaching the lie of impersonalism. Stripped from the right to be a person, trying to fit in an impersonal mass the individual soul truly suffers. Therefor all these self help workshops that don’t offer much help as they never address the root of the issue.
We live in a godless civilization that is trying to forget but luckily someone else is in charge of our remembrance and forgetfulness and luckily Maya I love you but you won’t win. 🙏
Disclaimer
You don’t have to be a Hare Krishna to appreciate this text. You don’t even have to be spiritual. You can at least be honest to yourself and admit that there is something missing from the narrative that we’ve been given from this material “culture”, and we are made for something more than just what the eyes can see. Something more, that is deep inside the heart and is guiding us each moment. And if you dare to listen, you will be able to see and find true happiness and peace.
References
Bhagavad-gītā As It Is (vedabase.io)
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